Sometimes, I feel like a horrible person.

Like, for instance, when I come across this while doing research for my last bit.

If you’re too lazy to click the link, that’s a direct link to ‘Dare-2-Share-Rhyme’ at the DARE web page. And, despite the fact that these poems are written by and for children, I couldn’t help reposting some of them. Rebutted with my own poetic stylings.

Basically, I wanna rap battle some eight year olds about the merits of the DARE program.


D.A.R.E. and Drugs

By Rachel

D-A-R-E spells DARE,
we want to get you involved because we all care.
D.A.R.E. is great! D.A.R.E. is cool!
One way to help is by attending school.
D.A.R.E. will really make you want to shout,
it will teach you what Drug Free is all about.
To be drug free is what D.A.R.E. is all about.
So come on kids, let’s all shout it out.
Stay away from Alcohol and Drugs and let’s keep ourselves clean,
our minds and our bodies that is what I mean!

Well, dear Rachel that was nice,
but let me school ya
and make ya think twice.
Ya see my tax dollars are hard at work,
so some cop can act like a jerk,
and lie to you and lie to me
and come arrest your whole family,
for making a choice that’s theirs to make.
Dare’s baloney! Dare’s fake!

Here are some A+ better things to do than drugs:

By Harley

Smell a flower, take a shower, read a book, learn to cook, get a good grade, sell lemonade, clean the dishes, swim with the fishes, play a sport, or build a sand fort, go to the beach, eat a peach, bake apple pies, comfort a baby when it cries, pet a dog, play leap frog, watch a movie, drink a fruit smoothie, eat snacks, play a game of jacks, go shopping and watch popcorn when it’s popping.

When someone asks you to do drugs just simply say,
I’ve got much too much to do today!

Have smoke and have toke,
then enjoy a real good joke,
smell a flower, take a shower,
learn the facts about who’s in power.
Read a book, learn to cook,
find out how you just got rooked.
Get a good grade, sell some lemonade,
figure out just how you got played.

D- is for “Drugs” they are very bad,

A- is for ” Awareness” is what you need to know,

R- is for ” Resistance” u have to stay away,

E- is for “Education” it is what they are trying

D is for disinformation, what they’re spreading
A is for authoritarian is where we’re heading
R is for rights which we haven’t had in years
E is for everyone that’s got a problem with beers.

That’s right, kids! Alcohol is a bigger harm than marijuana! With a higher rate of addiction, a fun thing called DTs, and chronic liver disease! Good thing it’s legal, huh kids! Isn’t it fun when Daddy gets drunk and smacks you and momma around!? You too can stay legal and still have that pleasure!

When your lungs turn black,
they never turn back.
When your mind has gone,
you know it was wrong.
You’ll never see what real life can be.

D.A.R.E. is smart,
it will keep you and drugs apart.
I would never do drugs and lose my life,
because to stay drug-free will keep me happy.

Life can be more
than a drunk on the floor, so live your life
without the strife. I’d rather live free,
than live in agony.

Drugs are so bad,
you’ll find they’ll make you mad.
So please take my advice
and always think twice.
If it was up to me
the world would be drug-free.

Jesus. Really? Really? So, nameless kid, did they explain to you that if the world was ‘drug free’ then coca farmers in Colombia would starve? Or that terminally ill people would have to suffer for every last second of their miserable life? Or that you wouldn’t have any relief from even a simple headache? No soda in his brave new world either.

And what drugs is he talking about? He jumps from drug to drug with aplomb. I think this kid is either on drugs or needs some drugs desperately.

Heh… that’s why I’m a horrible person.

Propaganda makes me that way.

-Legalize It!-